Monday, September 12, 2011

The truth as it applies to me. Being Awesome

For those of you who don't know me in the real life. I am awesome. With that said it should be obvious that you are not as awesome as me and should really look up to me more.  I am good at lots of games; Warhammer 40,000, Magic: The Gathering, World of Warcraft, King's cup, Canasta, Barrel of monkeys, and various board games. I like to think that other people who play me just don't know how awesome I am and that's why they waste their time sitting across the table from me. They Read, plan, plot, and listen to podcasts whose sole intent is to beat me at Pinochle! 
Internet fist bump for being awesome!

Well, the demand of being so awesome can be pretty overwhelming. I know it's a hard life being me but I do not want or expect any sympathy. I knew what I was getting myself into when I was developing into awesomeness, the chrysalis of my old nerd self blooming into the full blown awesomoth that I am. I can attribute it to being some sort of moth/human hybrid.  Did my mom bone a caterpillar before I was born? FUCK NO!!! Really, she might have. I'm not sure! Fortunately, I don't let being a genetic freak hold me down! I think that is what being awesome is all about.

Since I'm a young man I notoriously burn the awesome candle at both ends. Playing guitar, riding a motorcycle, watching loads of Doctor who on netflix, the possibilities are endless for me! The difference between awesome and not awesome is simple. No one depends on me for anything. The awesome factor that has changed in my life is lack of responsibility. I now have a full plate of hobbies and a awesome girlfriend on top of being a super extreme high level gamer.  All the effort and responsibility that involves is just a lot of bears. Sometimes juggling bears can be difficult when they are angry. So what am I getting at?

Given my lack of worthy gaming opponents, bear attacks from all angles, and not enough time to fight said bears, the simplest solution is to go to bear fighting school for a while. The truth is, that is exactly what I am going to do.  From now on, I am dedicating my life to bear fighting! I am inclined to challenge myself to accomplish great things, one day I could even be a bear fighter trainer! Being awesome, in my opinion is learning how to do ridiculous things at a barely competent level and then pretending that you are an expert!  Obstacles can be overcome by simply going around them or ignoring them until they fall over!

I also want to take this opportunity to thank Soldado for reminding me that I am awesome and providing me with an entertaining idea for an article.  He is a good friend and I hope things work out for him!


  1. Oh bear fighting school, How I wish you were real...

  2. Just to further re-iterate, this is the best thing I have ever done and all things pale in comparison.


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