Thursday, September 8, 2011

The Truth as it Applies to Me: Growing up.

For those of you who don't know me in the real life. I am married with 4 children and I drive a hellish commute to work daily. With that said it should be obvious that my free time is very limited and my ability to play games is even more limited. I try to play lots of games; Warhammer 40,000, Magic: The Gathering, World of Warcraft, League of Legends, WarMachine, various board games and other internet bullshit games I come across. I like to think I play these games to a degree of skill and with an ability to win, but this all takes time. Reading, planning, plotting, listening to podcasts, painting, tournaments, it's all a massive time sink and let me tell you all, time is something you never have when you have 2 babies and a teenager. Football practice, homework help, diapers, bottles, cleaning, cleaning, oh and did I mention cleaning?!?! Sooo, why the fuck am I saying this?

Well the demand of it all is pretty overwhelming. I am not a fan of bitching to bitch so I do not want or expect any sympathy. I knew what I was getting myself into when it was all happening, I just did not understand what it all meant at the time. I can attribute it to lifting lots and lots of weight. I know I can hold 80 lbs in my right hand, 80 lbs in my left hand, I can squat 300 lbs and legs press 800 lbs, but can I do all this at the same time? FUCK NO!!! Damn. This is where I fucked up! Fortunately, like with weights, its a simple solution. I need to  put stuff down and stop trying to do so much! I think that is what growing up is about. When I was younger (Not that I am super old now at 30) I notoriously burned the candle at both ends. Running a raiding EQ guild, managing a Sizzler, going to college and DMing a super awesome D&D campaign. The difference of now and then though is simple. No one depended on me for anything. The factor that has changed in my life is responsibility. I now have a full plate of adult responsibilities on top of trying to be a top(ish) level gamer and all the effort and responsibility that involves its just a lot to bear. Again, the easiest responsibility to alleviate is the gaming. So what am I getting at?

Increases of responsibility, unbearable stress from all angles and not enough time to do anything with life, the simplest solution is to give up gaming for a while. The truth is, that is what I was leaning towards, but in reality the easy road is not the one I ever take. I am inclined to challenge myself to accomplish great things, like be a great father and husband and a great gamer all at the same time. Growing up, in my opinion is learning how to cope with the challenges life throws at us and becoming a stronger person for doing it, and never letting a challenge get in our way. Overcoming obstacles are moments that I cherish and I am looking forward to trying to make it all work.

I also want to take this opportunity to thank my Wife for reminding me that I do have other things to consider in life and for helping me better handle the expectations set before me. I love you Sendi. I will be home soon.

2 comments:

  1. Best wishes to you, Blood Lord. Sorry to hear that you have to give gaming a pass for the time being, I hope you're able to get back to the things you enjoy doing soon. If you like to paint perhaps you could keep that going a little when life allows for it, though I understand how frustrating it can be when you feel like you don't even have time for that. Good luck!

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